Money is stressful, no matter how little – or how much – you have.
When I was young and broke with my first child, I obviously worried about making ends meet. But when I was older and successful, I got stressed out about keeping my money. I cried when a judge ordered me to pay alimony to my ex-husband – because I was earning so much more than he did.
The past year has been an emotional rollercoaster in general, as we emerged from a pandemic into inflation. So I wasn’t surprised by a new poll that showed women cried twice as often as men about money this past year.
“Women cried more than men,” says this month’s poll by LendingTree. “39% cried five or more times, compared with 20% of men.”
Tears and money
Now, in general, women cry more than men. We all know why. It’s not that men are tougher; it’s that society will shame them if they express vulnerable emotions. So, it’s not that women are weak, it’s that men are in denial.
That denial comes with a price, as any woman who’s dated an uncommunicative man knows. It can end relationships, and who knows the psychological toll it takes on those men – because they’ll never tell us. Or even admit it to themselves.
But when it comes to money, a woman’s tears add up to profit. A man’s machismo costs him money. That’s because women care so much about their money, it can really stress them out. Men cavalierly think everything will work out just fine, even if they’re not really sure about the facts.
Don’t believe me? Ever seen a man ask for directions?
This explains why women invest less often than men – but when they do, they earn more.
“Women overall invest 40 percent less money than men do,” NBC touted in a news story by Jean Chatzky. A Fidelity Investment study finds “On average, women not only realized positive returns on their investments, but also outperformed their male counterparts by 40 basis points.”
I previously wrote about why women are afraid to take financial risks (hint: It also has to do with men). But why do they earn more when they do invest? Simple. It’s those tears.
Profitable crying
When you cry about something, it’s because you care deeply about it. Men will take more risks – and not all good risks – when they invest, and it can come back to bite them. Women will invest cautiously, and they’ll do more research and handwringing before buying into a stock fund.
That’s why I laughed when I read the LendingTree poll. I laughed even harder when I read this quote from LendingTree’s Chief Credit Analyst, Matt Schulz…
I’m not surprised so many people have cried over money recently. For many Americans, the extra financial cushion they built in the early days of the pandemic has been whittled away to nothing by rampant inflation and other financial headwinds that are largely out of their control. That leaves people feeling helpless and scared, especially when they think there’s no end in sight. When that happens, the tears tend to flow, and that’s what many Americans are experiencing today.
Matt sounds like a smart guy, but he’s still a guy. Women cry over money ALL THE TIME. Maybe we’ve done it more since the pandemic morphed into inflation, but if that’s novel for men, it’s typical for women. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
So, men, if you want to make good money, maybe you need a good cry.
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