Unhappy Holidays: Self-Guilt is the Real Grinch

You know the winter holidays are coming faster than ever when you see holiday shopping discounts in September – along with holiday shopping polls.

One such poll from Cash App claims…

38% of U.S. consumers feel more financially stressed than in 2024, with 35% specifically anxious about covering holiday costs.

So that means they’ll spend less, right? Nope…

A quarter (25%) of shoppers plan to spend $1,000 or more this holiday season — up from 18% in 2024.

And worst of all…

Nearly one in five shoppers are more likely to shop with retailers offering BNPL.

If you don’t know what BNPL is, it stands for “Buy Now Pay Later.” It’s an accurate name, because if you do everything right, you can buy now and pay in four installments without being assessed interest. Of course, it seldom works out that way. Most BNPL users will get hit with fees, fall behind on their payments, and watch their credit scores suffer.

When the financial becomes psychological

Just knowing that so many people are planning to use BNPL for the holidays tells me a couple of things. First, they’re planning to spend more than they can afford right now. Second, they’re likely to pay a huge price for this decision.

I can’t get upset at these people, because they’re spending not on themselves, but on their loved ones.

They don’t want friends and family to think they’re cheap, or that they don’t value them. And of course, those friends and family are thinking the same thing, even though all sides are feeling anxious about spending money they don’t have.

So the problem isn’t really financial. I learned that last December when the American Psychiatric Association released a study showing nearly half (46%) of the people they surveyed felt it was a “financial struggle to pay for gifts.”

How to make the holidays about love instead of money

In my family, we value holiday doing over holiday buying.

Sometimes, the best gifts aren’t tangible. Time is something money can’t buy, but something you can give to loved ones.

This one is especially good for the kids. Have them give out personal coupons for cleaning the yard, shoveling snow, washing the car, and other chores that often require a lot of nagging. Instead of them begging you for your cash to buy you gifts, you’ll save your money and teach them the value of not only a dollar, but also of work.

Likewise, you can sprinkle in such coupons for your kids, promising them a free trip for ice cream or one free pass on making their bed. Whatever will brighten their eyes doesn’t have to lighten your wallet.

Of course, this doesn’t replace gift-giving. It just lessens the financial body blow. A mix of store-bought presents and hand-written coupon books is a nice mix. And a pleasant change of pace. Try it. Instead of buying now and paying later – both financially and emotionally – you’ll enjoy the holidays both during and after.