Love Matters More than Money

Whenever I tell people about my job, at some point, I usually say, "Debt is easy to understand but difficult to explain."

What I mean is, debt is defined simply as spending more than you earn. But the reasons for it are as varied as the 77% of Americans who are suffering from it. According to the Federal Reserve, more than 200 million of us carry some form of personal debt.

The Fed doesn't dive into those reasons. But I do.

Yes, some personal debt is run up with shopping sprees and YOLO excursions. We hear that admission from a fraction of our callers.

Mostly, though, Debt.com's research shows that more than half of Americans fall into debt due to inflation or job loss, while other reasons included unexpected major expenses like a serious illness, auto accident, or costly home repair. For 15% of us, weddings and funerals drove us into the red.

That last one might sound odd, but it tracks. I have no research to back up this opinion, which I've held for much of the decade I've led Debt.com: The most common thread running through personal debt is…love.

Actually, I do have some research. It was reported this month...

Three out of four Americans (75%) said they would financially help a loved one even if doing so delayed their own retirement by as much as five years. 

That's a national poll of over 1,000 U.S. adults, called the Family Factor. Two other results struck me...

• 88% "feel at least some pressure to help family financially, even when they cannot comfortably afford it."

• 77% said "they help because they genuinely want to, while only 13% said they do so primarily out of obligation."

In this era of partisan politics, zero-sum debating, and cynical game theory, I often find that indebted Americans are some of the generous people I've ever met. This also explains why, according to previous Debt.com research, almost two-thirds of Americans said they'd go into debt for holiday shopping. They don't want to let down their families, even if it drives up their debt.

So back to those weddings and funerals. I often hear experts and commentators mock couples who overspend on their weddings. 

"While I often see shades of grey in personal finance conversations, weddings are one area where I take a very firm stance," says Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial and a personal finance expert for that generation. "You should not go into debt for your wedding." 

But here's the twist: I believe some couples splurge on their wedding not for themselves, but to ensure their families savor the big day. While I agree wholeheartedly with Erin Lowry on the finances, I also understand that emotions behind that costly decision.

As for funerals, there's so much pressure to honor your loved ones after they pass – from yourself as much as your family. It's so common, Debt.com even has a Death & Debt section to help navigate these trying times. 

I suppose this is my long way of saying that if you're in debt and don't see a way out, you can call Debt.com and get expert advice – and no judgment. We don't care why you got into debt, and we know it doesn't mean you're foolhardy or greedy. It could mean you just love your family.