Your partner hiding money from you is just one form of financial infidelity

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Millions of Americans are hiding money from their partners

If you want to keep your money a secret, just do what millions of others have done: hide it.

Many Americans secretly stash money away from their partners, says. But don’t worry, they’re totally cool with it.

The older you are, the more likely you are to accept your partner’s untold purchases and money-handling. Just 24 percent of 18-29-year-olds are cool with their partners spending $500 or more without telling them; but 42 percent of 50-64-year-olds say it’s OK. In fact, older people were more likely to admit to making a big purchase without telling their partners than younger people. Unfortunately, nothing is ever a secret.

“Any time you get into these kinds of things where you are operating behind the scenes, it usually comes out at some point,” says Dallas-based marriage and family therapist Corey Allan. “We can’t keep things hidden, especially in today’s technological world. Any spouse who has any kind of suspicion can become a detective and find it.”


Hiding money from your partner (or having money hidden from you) is not that rare. In the survey, 1 out of 20 say they are in a serious relationship and have admitted to hiding money from their spouses. But just because people do it doesn’t make it right.

“It falls under the umbrella of, ‘I love you, but don’t tell me what to do,’” Allan says. “When you hit threshold areas of identity, that’s a natural pressure that happens in a relationship on every topic. … Marriage brings that stuff to the forefront.”

Screaming (financial) infidelities

Even though millions of Americans are doing it, that doesn’t mean you should be hiding money from your significant other (but if you want to, there are some handy tips on how to get started).

If you suspect your partner is hiding money from you, there are a few ways to spot financial infidelity.

If you can’t get into bank accounts or look at statements, tax returns, or other financial documents, you may want to check with your spouse first to see if it’s the banking institution or them.

Has a random credit card bill appeared? Did you get a notice for something you don’t recall buying and you know your partner didn’t mention? It could be a sign.

Is your budget a mess? Go over every line item and compare it to your accounts. Something could be missing.

Dollars and (common) sense

If you aren’t talking about money early and often, you aren’t doing it right. Both you and your partner should be on the same page when it comes to how money should be saved, spent, and invested.

It might not sound like the nicest or easiest conversation to have, but saving money is a huge deal to both men and women. Savers tend to have a plan more often and when an emergency comes up, strategic thinking often saves in more ways than one. If you and your significant other can’t agree on how money should be handled, you’re in for an ugly union.

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Meet the Author

Dori Zinn

Dori Zinn


Zinn is a freelance journalist based in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Budgeting & Saving, Family

couples, infographic, marriage, save money

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