More Than 1 in 3 Americans Say Financial Infidelity Is as Bad as Cheating

Money conversations may make some squirm, but new research suggests avoiding them may come at a high cost.

A recent survey shows many Americans view hidden spending as a serious breach of trust, on par with physical infidelity.

Bankrate’s latest survey found that 38% of respondents believe financial infidelity is just as damaging to a relationship as cheating. The personal finance site surveyed 1,200 adults who are married, living with a partner, or in a civil partnership to better understand why people hide spending from their significant other.

More than 1 in 10 respondents said they would not want their partner to know about certain purchases, while 14% admitted they would feel embarrassed about their financial situation.

“Secrets can take on a life of their own, undermining trust and the relationship. The fix is communication,” says Ted Rossman, Bankrate Senior Industry Analyst. “You don't necessarily need to combine all of your finances with your partner, but you do need to be aware of where your money is going. Even if you each agree to maintain some separate accounts, it's important to understand the parameters and work together on shared financial goals.”

When debt ends marriages

The findings echo what Debt.com continues to see in its own research.

According to the company’s 2025 Debt and Divorce survey, more than 4 in 10 respondents said credit card debt played a role in ending their marriage. That marks a notable increase from 34% last year and 29% in 2023.

Those results struck a chord with Debt.com chairman Howard Dvorkin, CPA, who has worked as a credit counselor since the early 1990s. Early in his career, Dvorkin recalls counseling a young couple enrolled in a debt management program to address mounting credit card balances.

After the session ended, the husband returned with another stack of bills. Dvorkin initially assumed they had been forgotten. Instead, the man explained, “These I spend on my girlfriend.”

The husband had accumulated credit card debt through an affair and concealed it from his wife. The marriage soon ended in divorce.

“Credit card debt has quietly become one of the leading homewreckers in America,” Dvorkin said. “It’s not just the balances, it’s the secrecy, the stress, and the silence. Until couples treat debt like the life-changing issue it is, we’ll keep seeing love lost to late fees.”

Why avoiding money talks makes things worse

While financial infidelity is hardly new, it is becoming more openly discussed – and that shift matters. Silence around money often allows small problems to grow into relationship-ending ones.

Debt.com created a guide to help couples start realistic, honest conversations about finances before problems escalate. Ideally, those conversations happen early in a relationship, well before marriage or long-term commitments are made.

Partnerships thrive on trust, not on hidden balances and unopened statements.

For some couples, legal tools such as prenuptial agreements can also help clarify expectations. Prenups can define ownership of assets and debts, offering protection if a relationship ends through divorce or death.

In long-term relationships, transparency remains the foundation. Dvorkin cautions couples not to repeat a common mistake he has seen for decades.

“Couples will talk about everything from where to live to how many kids to have,” said Dvorkin. “But too many still avoid talking about money. When credit card debt goes unaddressed, it doesn’t just strain a budget – it strains a marriage.”