Debt Awareness Week: How My Spending Triggers Changed With Parenthood 

Last year, during Debt Awareness Week, I wrote about my emotional spending triggers. At the time, my daughter was still a baby. Since then, she’s moved through new growth phases, and I’ve moved through new phases of fatherhood right alongside her.

Back then, my emotions drove much of my spending.

Any time I saw stage-based development products for babies, I was quick to pull out my credit card. In my mind, I was doing what any parent wants to do: provide the best life possible for their child.

Now she’s two years old, and the triggers haven’t gone away. They’ve just changed.

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We all have financial triggers, whether we realize it or not – and they don't stay the same forever.

A few years ago, my extra money went to craft beer, guitars, and tattoos. Every new beer label, guitar ad, or tattoo design pulled me in.

Stress spending was my escape. And marketers, they know exactly how to tap into that psychology. Then my daughter came along and my triggers changed. Last year, it was baby products. Anything tied to development or giving her the best felt urgent. And if it said stage-based or "expert approved," my credit card was already out.

Now she's 2 years old, and the triggers haven't disappeared. They've simply evolved.

Daycare costs more than I ever expected. She outgrows clothes and shoes constantly, and I have never seen a human consume fruit with such speed and determination. Raising a child today can cost close to $300,000 before college.

That kind of pressure turns everyday purchases into emotional decisions. The biggest shift for me wasn't spending less. It was learning to recognize the moment a trigger shows up.

If a purchase feels urgent or skipping it makes me feel like a bad parent, that's my cue to pause. I ask one simple question. Is this solving a real need or is it just easing a feeling? That pause doesn't always stop the purchase, but it almost always changes how I think about it.

Spending triggers don't disappear, they evolve. The goal isn't to remove emotion for money. It's to notice when emotion is driving decision and make sure it doesn't quietly turn into debt.

What are your financial triggers? Drop them in the comments and follow for more during debt awareness week.

Different phases, same emotions

When my wife and I first had her, a coworker shared an old saying: “Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.”

While my daughter is still very much a toddler, I’m already seeing some truth in it. In my world, though, it feels more like little kids, little expenses; big kids, big expenses.

At two years old, daycare alone costs more than $9,000 a year. She outgrows clothes and shoes at a pace I can barely keep up with. And I’ve never seen a human being consume fruit with such speed and determination. It’s honestly impressive.

I recently looked up what it costs to raise a child. The U.S. Department of Agriculture’s most recent estimate, released in 2017, puts the cost at more than a quarter million dollars from birth through age 18, not including college.

Because that data is now dated, other researchers and analysts have adjusted the figure for inflation and rising costs, placing the total closer to $284,000 to $310,000.

For parents, that kind of financial pressure can quietly turn everyday purchases into emotional decisions.

There are things she genuinely needs. But there’s also the constant impulse to buy her everything she wants.

Feel your emotions – and plan

What helps me most isn’t cutting spending across the board. It’s learning to recognize the moment a trigger shows up.

For me, that moment usually comes when a purchase feels urgent or emotional, not planned. If I’m telling myself I need to buy something right now, or that skipping it somehow makes me a bad parent, that’s my cue to stop.

I’ve learned to slow myself down by asking one simple question before pulling out a card: Is this solving a real need, or just easing a feeling? That pause doesn’t always stop the purchase, but it almost always changes how I think about it.

She’s still my biggest emotional spending trigger, and the cost attached to that trigger keeps growing with age. The best way I’ve found to avoid sliding into debt isn’t willpower alone. It’s planning.

For me, that’s meant building a budget that reflects our new reality, opening a 529 education savings plan, learning to say no to every toy aisle temptation, and forcing myself to pause before swiping a credit card.

Sometimes, just taking a moment to think through a purchase is enough to stop an impulse in its tracks.

I also keep my eyes peeled for promotions, deals, and saving opportunities. She comes before spending on expensive gifts for myself.

Spending triggers don’t disappear. They evolve. The goal isn’t to eliminate emotion from spending. It’s to recognize when emotion is driving the decision – and make sure it doesn’t quietly turn into debt.