In some countries, an entrepreneur is often likened to struggling artists and some rumors say they have trouble when finding mates. But, the rumors may be started by their parents! The scenario I’ve seen in the U.S. is like this:
Girl: What do you do for work?
Boy: I’m an entrepreneur.
Girl: Oh, so you don’t have a job?
While this is not necessarily a true representation of the world, it is worth noting that if you really are dating an entrepreneur, they will be working incredibly long hours. And whether the entrepreneur is a man or woman, they are under a great deal of stress.
The long hours and stress may be reason alone an entrepreneur may not make good marital material, especially if it looks as though it could be challenging for them to strike a balance between their personal and professional lives, making time for money and love.
But also, look at yourself. Are you a self-soother? Can you lie on the couch watching a movie or reading a book with your legs lovingly draped over the lap of someone with headphones on working on a computer, and still be content? What about being left at dinner alone while they rush off to put out another fire, and not go to pieces? Can you be grateful that you have someone with that much drive and passion, or is this life going to bug you?
Really — take a look around. Are you going to be pissed every minute because someone isn’t paying you or the kids the time and attention you think they deserve? Or, are you going to be grateful you have the money to hire someone to help you take out the trash? Can you be happy making the road easier for the one making that extra money, or is the trash and clipping the grass really that important to you?
Look at someone like Elon Musk, who was married and in the process of divorce before getting back together only to now get divorced. There is clearly a roller coaster involved in a relationship with an entrepreneur.
Reasons to date or marry an entrepreneur
The question is: Should you date or marry an entrepreneur? Here are some things to consider:
- While they work a lot of hours, we all do. Entrepreneurs have a flexible schedule that makes them available to take trips, have lunch together, or spend quality time together. You just have to make sure they understand and balance their time. OR, you need to understand they can’t balance their time and you shut-up and live with it — and still make a happy life.
- They are ambitious and that’s a great quality in a partner because they’re focused on creating success for both of you. This provides security plus it’s easy to respect someone that is so driven and determined to put the hours of time into work to make a win.
- Many entrepreneurs are intent on changing the world for the better and that’s a really attractive trait. The idea that you could be with someone who comes up with something that does humanity good, can also build respect, awe, and love for your entrepreneurial partner.
- Entrepreneurs tend to be very confident about what they are doing, and that is also very attractive.
- They are good decision makers and are pretty clear on what they want so the guessing game is often not part of a relationship with this type of person. That makes it easier to know where you stand with them, saving yourself a lot of emotion and heartache. They know what they want. But, do you know what you want? Can the two plans jell?
- Entrepreneurs tend to be creative people who look at things differently and come up with some pretty ingenious solutions to common problems. They are great to have around to take care of things you may find challenging as they tackle it head-on.
- Life certainly will never be dull with an entrepreneur as things are always changing. There may be lots of travel with every day serving as a new adventure. This helps keep the routine out of the relationship and provides the excitement that maintains a fresh feel to what you two share. But, maybe you want routine. Can you be totally okay letting them off on their adventure, and you making your routine, if that’s what you need? If so, great.
Things to consider before you fall in love
There are some downsides to their passionate, driven natures that should be considered. Many entrepreneurs have been described as egocentric and so wrapped up in their own vision of what they want to accomplish that they don’t think of others. This may mean that they don’t actually make as much time for you as you’d like or you feel like you are taking care of the home and family by yourself.
There is the risk they may not succeed and could put financial problems on the relationship that you both will need to carry. There may not always be that security of a regular paycheck, so you will need to think about if you can work full-time to help them with their dream? It’s one of those situations that could be a big risk, big reward or big risk, big loss. You just need to decide your own risk tolerance level.
Some of the reasons listed above for dating an entrepreneur may not be something that you find advantageous — like the excitement of a constantly changing life. You may also find that the entrepreneur’s perpetual optimism is unfounded, or it may grate on your nerves when you need to complain. You may find that actually this entrepreneur is not being realistic in how they are looking at work or life. Do you have the ability to point that fact out to the entrepreneur in a way they can even understand?
Finding someone you are compatible with is hard work at best. All relationships take effort just like the work that goes into creating a business. Consider the positives and negatives and determine what fits your lifestyle and life goals. If you find a match and it happens to be an entrepreneur, go for it!
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