Valentine's Day gifts

How To Mend A Broke Heart

I hate Valentine’s Day for the same reason I hate Thanksgiving. Shouldn’t I be thankful every day for what I have? Shouldn’t I dote on my wife more often than February 14?

Besides, I hate flowers as much as I hate turkey. Why do plants have to die as proof of my love? (By the way, the Better Business Bureau says florist scammers are a thing now.)

But I digress, and I haven’t even started yet.

An amusingly depressing poll was released today. According to Fidelity Investments, “Almost 3 in 4 couples say they communicate exceptionally or very well on financial matters.”

Yet in that same poll, “nearly half of couples argue about money” — 47 percent of the more than 1,000 couples they quizzed.

What did they yell about?

  • Spending habits: 67 percent
  • Not saving enough money: 37 percent
  • Bills: 33 percent
  • Debt: 29 percent

Even worse, “1 in 4 couple who argue say their spats are never resolved.”

So how is it that 75 percent of these couples say they communicate on financial matters, but nearly half argue about money? And a quarter of them keep fighting?

Maybe these couples think fighting is communicating. I suppose that’s healthier than the silent treatment. But as a happily married man — who has convinced his wife Valentine’s Day is a manufactured sham and will do nothing special on that horrid day — I will offer the same advice I did this time last year…

The key to a successful marriage, both emotionally and financially, is to keep some things secret. Like your money.

Yes, I realize that seems just the opposite of what everyone tells you. But I’ve been married for 16 years, and we’ve fought exactly four times. Never about money, either. (It’s usually about something stupid I did, then tried to ignore and/or cover up.)

Check out The Secret To A Successful Marriage: Separate But Equal Cash. And if you’re just as skeptical of Valentine’s Day as I am, enter the Debt.com Valentine’s Day Horror Contest. You could win $100. Then you and your sweetie can fight over what to spend it on…

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