You’ve heard of coupons for soap and soup, but there are discounts — sometimes worth thousands — on far weirder things.
Want to bedazzle your vajajay? There’s a coupon for that. Penis enlargement? Sure. How about a prenup agreement? There are coupons for those, too.
We scoured the web for some of the craziest coupons out there. While some of these deals may only exist in certain locations, sites like RetailMeNot and Groupon can help you find similar discounts in your area.
We’re not recommending any of these services, but here’s our favorite stuff you can get with a coupon. More after the graphic…
Brazilians: You can find coupons ranging from 50 to 65 percent off of a Brazilian bikini wax. The better to display your vajazzling with (more on that below).
Breast implants: There are options for both saline and silicone breast augmentation on Groupon, and you can print coupons worth thousands of dollars.
Body sculpting: Don’t pay full price to have your belly fat suctioned off. You can also get discounts on laser lipo, Botox, beauty injections, and permanent makeup from Groupon. Just type in your location.
Juice cleanse: Starving yourself never tasted so good, for so little. With the coupon, a three-day juice cleanse is only $150. You get six 16-ounce drinks per day, in flavors like “Morning Glory” and “Island Coconut.”
Penis enlargement: If you’re pining for a bigger peen, you can get a $50 coupon on packages ranging from $200 to $400 from Size Genetics. The pricier version has stuff like instructional DVDs and e-books included, while the basic package just comes with the equipment — a contraption designed to stretch your penis into the length you desire.
Vajazzling: That’s “the act of applying glitter and jewels to a woman’s bikini area for aesthetic purposes.” So that exists, and you can save on doing it. Add some sparkle to your sex life at a 10 percent discount by using this coupon code.
Bubba kush: Get your weed at a discount price — only $35 for an eighth — of this “oldie yet goodie” strain from a pot shop in Colorado. Check out Growpon for more “Cannibis Coupon Codes,” including discounts on bongs, vaporizers, and pipes.
E-cigs: If you’re trying to shun regular tobacco, save some money by using coupons for e-cigs. A site called EcigaretteReviewed has discount codes on everything from starter kits and “e-liquid” to accessories and cartridges.
Thai anal beads: “Recommended for equal amounts of pleasure by both sexes” is the selling point for these beads from Extreme Restraints. First-time buyers get the beads for only $0.99, down from the original price of $7.50.
Vibrators: In case you were wondering, there’s a real website called vibrators.com. Guess what they sell? You can get 10 percent discounts on everything from “best rabbit vibrator” to “large realistic jelly vibrator.”
Wine: You can save whether the wine is going to you, or you’re going to the wine. Coupons.com has a group of coupons for wine.com, or check out Groupon if you’re planning a wine-tasting trip to, say, Napa Valley.
Pole dancing classes: More women (and some men) are taking them for fitness reasons. Pole dancing classes can help you get into shape, and they’re way more fun than going to the gym. A 50 percent discount makes the deal even sweeter.
Prenup agreements: With this discount, you’ll have more assets left to protect. You can print coupons from several law firms for $50 off the cost of a prenuptial agreement drafting, which start at $1,000 and can go up to $50,000.
Sex therapy: Get a half hour of sex therapy for free with Dr. Kimberly Flemke, a “licensed marriage and family therapist with nearly 20 years of clinical experience.” She’s in Philadelphia.
Other weird stuff
Cat litter: Save $3 on “World’s Best Cat Litter” when you sign up for their coupon. They have “6 Natural Cat Litter Choices” to choose from in scents ranging from lavender to forests. They also have “Clayfessionals,” testimonial videos from pet owners who switched from clay litter to this corn-based litter.
Creation Museum tickets: The Creation Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky, offers free admission to all kids in 2014 with the purchase of a $30 adult ticket. Desperate for customers? Or savvy marketing?
Porsche: If you’re in the market for a 1977 Porsche 911 Targa, you should definitely take note of this discount for $3,000 off your car purchase. (The coupon site says two people have successfully used it, even though there’s apparently no coupon code.)
Viagra: There are coupons to buy Viagra for less at Target, Sam’s Club, Rite-Aid, Safeway, and CVS. Some are as much as $50 off.