Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop Gift Guide sucks

Shop Like Gwyneth Paltrow For A Fraction Of The Price

This year’s Goop Gift Guide is out and it’s so helpful. If you’re Gwyneth Paltrow.

Goop is a celebrity lifestyle brand Paltrow launched in 2008. Other celebrities ripped off the idea, but hers was first — and every year it puts out a ridiculous holiday gift guide that’s supposedly for real people.

This year, Paltrow’s list is prefaced with a note that says “we tried to keep as much as possible at the $100 mark.” They didn’t try very hard. When the guide lists items like a $3,000 “wearable blanket,” it reads more like a Skymall knock-off laughing at poor people.

Only 53 percent of the 213 items on it are actually $100 or less, and you would need about $110,000 to buy everything on it. And that’s not counting items with “price upon request,” like the diamond cluster ring and Chanel watch.

Gwyneth Paltrow

So to numb the stinging stupidity of a $5,000 gold juicer — the dumbest thing we’ve ever heard of, and here’s why — we found 10 far cheaper (and arguably better) alternatives to items on Goop’s list. Can you tell them apart? Put your cursor over the images and find out, and click through if you think it’s worth the money.

1. Love Two-Finger Ring

2. Safety Pin Earring(s)

3. Studded Ballet Flats

4. Travel Backgammon Set

5. Poncho/Cape

6. Kid’s Deer Sweater

 7. Biker Jacket

8. Chain Link Watch

9. Sunglasses

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