What do you think of these disturbing surveys?

Funny Money Friday: 5 disturbing surveys

It’s Friday, time to learn some awful new stuff…

1. That’s sick

You might not know this, but there’s no federal law entitling you to sick days. And while a new study by something called the Institute for Women’s Policy Research concludes that 61 percent of Americans get sick time, “Less than a quarter (24 percent) of employees in Food Preparation and Serving Related occupations, and less than a third (31 percent) of workers in Personal Care and Service occupations have access to sick days with pay.”

Basically, the employees most likely to make the rest of us sick don’t get time off when they’re sick.

2. Man or machine

Tech product company Brother International released its annual survey of 500 small businesses (those with less than 100 employees). Its big conclusion, which startled even Brother International, which stands to directly benefit…

A surprising 72 percent of small business owners indicate new technologies will offer a bigger return on their investment than new employees.

Understandable, though. Computers don’t call in sick.

Results from one of several disturbing surveys this week.

3. Dine now, starve later

We all know how important saving for retirement is. But it’s not as important as choosing a restaurant.

Financial services company TIAA-CREF polled 1,000 Americans and discovered, “Americans spent less time in the last year planning for an IRA investment for their retirement years than choosing a restaurant, flat screen TV or tablet.”

 4. I’ll die before I talk to you about money

Wells Fargo asked more than 1,000 Americans about the topics they hate talking about. The results couldn’t be encouraging for a bank…

Nearly half of Americans say the most challenging topic to discuss with others is personal finances (44 percent), whereas death (38 percent), politics (35 percent), religion (32 percent), taxes (21 percent), and personal health (20 percent) rank as less difficult.

So apparently, if you’re a terminally ill atheist who believes in raising taxes and never exercising, you’ll be just fine conversing with most Americans. Just don’t mention money.

5. Working under the influence

“One in 10 small businesses had employees show up for work last year while under the influence of at least one controlled substance,” declares a new study from Employers.com. Alcohol was the winner at 5.3 percent, but in a close second was “marijuana or prescription painkiller.”

I have no idea why those two disparate intoxicants are lumped together. But I do wonder why those high employees just don’t call in sick. Unless, of course, they’re cooking our food. Or designing disturbing surveys.

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