Don't ever give one of these stupid holiday gifts.

10 officially stupid holiday gifts

Here’s a recent holiday tradition you probably didn’t know about: Every holiday season since 1998, an online retailer called Stupid.com has asked its customers, “What’s the stupidest gift of the year?”

Of course, if you patronize a gag-gift website like Stupid.com, the annual
Top 10 Most Stupid Gifts of the Year is a must-have guide for your stocking stuffers. So in no particular order, and in Stupid.com’s own words…

1. The Bacon Scarf  — “Wrap yourself in bacon, literally! This knit scarf looks exactly like a giant slab of bacon and is sure to keep even the biggest pork-lover warm and satisfied.”

2. The Gentleman’s Fart Alarm  — “It’s a simple fact: Every man farts. Why not keep those toots classy with this tiny golden alarm button that helps preserve your sophistication with phrases like, Who sliced the brie? and Like a fine cabernet! when one accidentally slips out.”

3. The Butt Towel — “This towel is sure to be the butt of the joke the next time someone notices it at the beach. This clever towel looks like someone forgot to cover up all the way and will really crack up the next pool party.”

4. “Granny Got It’ Ugly Holiday Sweater — “The classic Christmas song is forever immortalized in this terrible, tacky, and inappropriate ugly holiday sweater. Thanks to the reindeer, granny is sure to turn a few heads and maybe break a few hips.”

5. The Farting Redneck Butt Pillow — “Everyone know rednecks love to fart! They also love to stretch out on the couch, crack open a cold one, and watch the big race. Now they can do it all with this pillow, shaped like a butt.”

6. The Wine Rack Flask Bra — “This sneaky device lets ladies conceal an entire drink of their choosing in their undergarments, and brings new meaning to filling up a cup!”

7. Obama’s Last Day Countdown Clock — “Whether it’s celebrating the time remaining in office or counting down until he leaves, the President Obama Countdown Clock makes a fun way to track how many days the commander-in-chief has left in office.”

8. Prescription Pill Bottle Mug — “Sometimes coffee is the best medicine! This funny mug looks just like an oversized pill bottle and makes a great gift to those pill-popping, java heads.”

9. Star Wars Death Star Ice Mold — “Nothing is cooler than the iconic Death Star from Star Wars molded in solid ice. Whether it’s to chill a glass of whiskey or used with chocolate to make the best party treats ever, this gift will be sure to bring out your inner geek.”

10. The Santa-kini — “This festive outfit not only looks like a bikini for Santa Claus, but is just about as ridiculous as it sounds. Did we mention it comes with a Santa hat?”

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